Returning to the competition mats.

Up until June 2022 I hadn’t competed since 2014, so around 7 years and at the time of my last foray into the competition world I was still a white belt. I did not compete at all as a blue or purple belt due to a few different factors and maybe you could say emotions. As a coach and a brown belt, I felt the urge to compete again it felt different this time around. I wanted to compete to have fun and for the enjoyment of it, to test my jiu-jitsu against other practitioners in a more do or die scenario rather than when rolling on the mats in the safety of my club with my friends.

When I was competing all those years ago, I hated it, only taking part because I felt like I should. I also knew it’s a good thing for a person to face some adversity and get outside of your comfort zone in order to grow. What I probably should have been focussing on more was my self-care as at this time I was suffering with depression. We had newborn baby, I was working 7 days a week and trying to train twice a day most days including weight training. I thought as a man I had to hustle and move, I had to keep pushing and strive to be the best. I even managed to get rhabdomyolysis from over exertion and not getting adequate amounts of rest due to having a physically demanding job and not getting much sleep at all thanks to our beautiful daughter Ruby-Lou entering the picture. At this time, I didn’t even love Jiu-jitsu like I do now, I was mainly training for MMA and would train 3 sessions a night to cover boxing, Muay Thai and grappling. I actually disliked the Gi. One day my brain fog started to fade and I realised I couldn’t keep up this pace as I was constantly sick and barely getting to train anyway so I competed one last time and shortly after I received my blue belt I told my head coach Habby at the time that I couldn’t keep training all disciplines and what did he suggest he suggested that I should focus on BJJ in the Gi. To this day I am so grateful that he did.

I received my blue belt from Habby Heske and Ian Ludgero in December 2015 I then spent three and a half years at blue only training in the Gi and not super consistently due to welcoming our second daughter Ayla to the family. Once I received my purple belt in 2019 I started to get seriously into coaching and ramping up my training amount to 6 days a week, with this came coaching my team mates and students in their own trip into the competition scene, I hadn’t been to competition in years and I felt nervous even though I wasn’t having a match but I loved coaching from the sidelines and couldn’t believe how much the scene had changed since the days I competed, it had come a long way and was a much more relaxed fun environment than the earlier days.

As a brown belt and spending the last few years cornering at a number of competitions, I felt a strong desire to step back on the mats and test my abilities. I was super nervous, but I felt way less tense and stressed about the idea of it as I didn’t really mind if I lost, and I didn’t feel any pressure to win from my coaches Raegan and Steve. I just wanted to compete and enjoy my time on the mats, in comparison to when I was a white belt and basically hated it. My main worry has been getting injured as I just cannot afford to be injured with my primary job being a landscaper. The thing that really pushed me over the line to sign up is that my main training partner and friend Kyle had just competed at age 42 after last competing in the competition I did in 2014. At this comp he got bumped down into the adult’s bracket, had 6 great matches and enjoyed every minute of it. At the time of the competition, he was a purple but has since been promoted to brown belt. Not once did I think about whether he won or lost, I couldn’t care less when I was sitting on the side of the mat cornering him on the day. We were just in the moment, and it was all about testing his Jiu-jitsu and having fun. He came away with 5 draws and one loss, no one cared whether he had won, or lost. Winning would have just been a bonus on the day. I think deep down at the core, I am practicing Jiu-jitsu because it’s fun and I enjoy it, so I want to go into my competitions with that attitude and hopefully come out the other side smiling no matter the outcome.

Oss. Enjoy the Journey